Summer, how I Love/Hate you.

For Those of you who know me, and have know me my whole life, know that I have been one to admit that I am wrong on occasion. One occasion that I will admit was my childhood dream of living in a warmer climate. 

You see, most of my childhood was growing up near the coast in Pacific Grove, California. It was mild and many days of overcast clouds and even thick fog on occasion. Then, I dispised and hated the cold weather...especially as a teenager.

As a teenager, your hormones are raging and this instinctual desire to look "beautiful" and "desirable" to the opposite sex takes over and you find yourself trying to go to lengths that you never had before. For me, I longed to have that glow from the sun; the sun that never shinned. 

Luckily, at the time, my best friend lived in Carmel Valley, where the sun was much more present! So wonderful! So Warm! And I got so TAN!

I knew the warnings of sun damage and cancer, but I was a teenager and I was "invincible"!

We would lay in the sun and dream of our futures together and promised each other that we would live in perfectly warm weather when we were older. We would live where the nights would be warm enough to not need a sweater outside! We would be tan all year long! We would be goddesses of the SUN!!! 

Riiiiight!....

Fast forward almost twenty years later...

I still live in California, yet I live about an hour to two hours from the coast (depending on the "lovely" overpopulated traffic), and I find myself cursing the sun instead of worshiping it.

You see, when you're a teen, tween or even in your early twenties you have this unrealistic idea of life and duties and chores...and housework...and taking care of a family...and so on...

Let just say that my opinion on warm summers has changed drastically. 

Now I find myself daydreaming of the thick, split-pea-soup fog of my childhood. I dream of sweater weather and cozy cuddles with a book, a blanket, my cats and my kids.

You see...cleaning the house should never cause sweat to drip down your face, or the weather be so hot that even with the air conditioner on it feels like a sauna.

I no longer am active in tanning...that is a whole other story...but basically I care about my skin and wrinkles and NOT DYING an early age!

My co-worker yesterday asked me a rhetorical question of why it was so hot...and I answered that it was because we're in hell...though it was only about 96degrees outside.

He thought it was funny, but I was far from trying. 

Anything above 85degrees and I become a cranky pot.

My husband does too...but Im sure that my constant complaining about the heat contributes to his intolerance of the summer heat. Everyday for about two months I will repeat the same phrase over and over (trying to make a point and trying to be slightly annoying, LOL), "You need to move me to the coast" or "We need to live near the beach". I even got my kids to start saying these phrases too.

So funny!

Here's the beautiful sunrise on my way to work...beautiful in some ways...

One of my favorite views from my run that I do on occasion at Round Valley. The view is of the east side of Mt.Diablo.

My orchid, that I have somehow kept alive...

The horrible, despicable, disgusting and hated heat...

Anyways, no matter what, I know that it could always be worse, and even then things can only get better, right? So I will be manifesting my cool weather, and another season of monsoons with lots of rain! :)

Thanks for Reading!

Rochelle

Finding Time...Whatever That Means

So, as you may have read in my last posts, I had been a stay-at-home mom for almost eight years. It wasn't a breeze; taking care of children (especially in their tender years) and being a house wife was a lot of work! Needn't I say an underpaid and appreciated job.
Now I have "graduated" in life and have become a working mom.
Let me make something very clear! I will never put down a parent who is a stay-at-home parent, nor will I be the one to say that working parents are less loving to their children. Being a stay-at-home parent is TOUGH, and so is the role of a working parent. It's hard to be a stay-at-home parent and feel unappreciated, and your only hope of compensation is that your children will prove to be spectacular scholars or "wow" the crowds with their "well-roundedness". It's also hard to be a working parent, having to make the sacrifice to not have control over the majority of your child's day can be heart wrenching to say the least.
There is some type of stigma that is branded on parents who make these decisions with their roles in life, whether they have the choice in the matter or not.
I, for instance, did have the choice to be a stay-at-home mom, but did not really have the choice to become a working mom again. I HAD TO go back to work. We were struggling financially and I couldn't see my husband take it all on any longer. I had to step in to help.
Unfortunately, the world that we live in now is not the world that our grandparents dreamt for us. There is no "buying a house at with a picket fence" dream that is in our grasp, or even the ability to go to college without paying for it for the rest of our working lives. No wonder the majority of our younger generations don't want to get married and have kids. It's just too expensive.
With that said, I want to say that I miss being a stay-at-home mom at times. Not the financial pitfalls and the stress of wondering how we are going to pay bills or food, but I miss the experiences.
I miss the sounds of my children on a consistent basis. I miss being there for all their experiences and their concerns. I miss sleeping in with them, and doing art crafts with them. I miss teaching them.
But like most of parents, who are the working parents, it is this role that we have to pass on to "the village" that we put our trust in.
Some have the benefit of having family around to help. I do not.
I have had the blessing of having a daycare that I trust. I am blessed to have found one that is faith based and who care about my kids. They're a stones throw away from my kids school, which makes it easier for me knowing that they will be around the same place all day.
Today is my baby girls first day at kindergarten.
This is a day that I was able to be around the school to drop off and pick up my son when he started. Now, I no longer get that benefit.
I miss being able to do that.
I miss my kids.
I miss sharing in their experiences.
There will be a time, hopefully in the near future that I won't have to work two jobs to make ends meat. There will hopefully be a time when I can enjoy my time with family again, and enjoy my babies being young. I see time slipping faster and faster, and there is nothing I can do. I pray, daily, that things will get easier and that I will find time...whatever that means...
Now I will stop complaining and be grateful that I have so much.
I have had a hard 6 months of being a social introvert. I have even been completely cut off from socializing with my best friend because I couldn't handle the mental expenditure.
My extra time I spent with my kids, and if they were asleep then I spent it with myself.
I love my art and miss having more time with it.
But, God is good, and the fact that I still find time is pretty awesome...

This is my beginnings of a project that includes clay on canvas... I will be working on this and putting up progress photos...

Here are some ACEO cards that I have been working on...

A little canvas sample for a larger project that I will be completing soon...

Another project (this one has not quite been completed due to that "lack of time" thing)

I am calling this one "My cold, cold heart".

My son's Goliath Sunflowers...they were literally as tall has our house!

So, now that I have voiced my complaints to the universe, I will carry on with what I know, and do the best I can. I mean, I am not even promised tomorrow. I have to live today the best I can. I know that I have a higher calling then I realize. Sometimes it's just hard to see past the difficult parts. With Gods grace and the beauty in moments, I know that I will find what I have been looking for.

Thanks for listening!

Rochelle