Life goes on, through highs and lows, the adventure continues...

Life can be hard, it can be tragic and overwhelming; it can also be free-flowing and beautiful. I am so grateful for my life. I'm grateful for the hard, sticky and grueling parts that have molded me into the person that I am. I'm also grateful for the moments of bliss and beauty, as it is the core of these moments that help me through the hard parts. I look forward to the bliss ahead.

Too many changes, too quick for the good to shine through...

Life has been crazy, insane, ludicrously ridiculously mad and ass backwards lately…and that's been putting it lightly. I have never before in my life cried so many days in a row, felt so mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, had both fleeting and stagnate thoughts and feelings of wanting to move, divorce, give-up and die.
Yes, it does sound very dramatic and over the top, but in all truthfulness, all of those things are what has happened to me. In the last month, my life has changed so drastically and has flipped every possible direction that it is no surprise that I have felt all such feelings and have thought all such thoughts. Actually, I have felt so many different feelings and thought so many thoughts that there would seem to be no more thoughts to think nor more feelings to feel. Just a brief list of the biggest changes in my life:

• I have gone from a stay-at-home mom working a side job 1-2 days a week to a full time working mom working 4 1/2-6 days a week. 
• My best friend has moved in with me to help me take care of the kids (since I have no saved income for daycare) in exchange for a free place to stay.
• I had to trade in my van for a sedan and take on a car payment.
• I got a bad chest/head cold that I can't seem to kick.
• I have been trying to research daycares all on my own since my husband is too "busy" to help…or probably doesn't care to do any of the research since he knows that I will do it.
• I've literally been non-stop and have had hardly half a day to recover or rest.

I don't know how to deal with any of this other than to pray constantly and rely on God. He is truly the only reason that I have not tried to kill myself, been admitted to a mental hospital or started doing hardcore drugs. No…seriously, I do not know what I would do without my God or the provisions that he has given me do get through this time in my life. 

I HAVE TO find the gratitude in my daily life. 

If I don't, all is lost.

Today's Gratitude:

1. I am starting to feel better from my cold!
2. I have two wonderful paying jobs where I get to be around adults and work with wonderful people.
3. I have a warm home.
4. I have food to eat.
5. I have a car to get to work.
6. I have friends and family that love me and are praying for me.
7. I have two beautiful children who are healthy, smart, loving and who own my heart.
8. I have adorable pets.
9. I have enough things that I own to sell for about a years worth of income.
10. I have talents that I know God has given me for an unrevealed reason.
11. I have dreams that are unique to me.
12. I am beautiful, kind, helpful, compassionate, empathic, and sensitive.
13. I am strong.
14. I will soar with faith above the valleys that I fear.
15. I will overcome want, and I will defeat jealousy and the idea of what physical goals the  world teaches us that we need to strive for.
16. I am me.

That is a quick note of gratitude for my night. Now I will go to bed with the intent of allowing my body, mind and spirit to rest, regroup and become rejuvenated. I will be healthier tomorrow. I will be stronger tomorrow. I will be a light and find the good in all things.

The fall brings more than inspiration!!! It brings on the creation of "WONDER KITTY!!!"

Being an artist and a stay-at-home mom can be difficult. Difficult in a good way. I would never take for granted the awesome and wonderful opportunity that I have to be a stay-at-home mom. Trading my life of financial freedom for a life of non-stop cooking, cleaning, mind-games, whining, crying, temper tantrums and craziness has been worth the wonderful unconditional love and commitment. As much work as it is (not to mention the fact that being a single income family in the US, causing worry and overwhelming debt at times), no matter what it has been worth it. I would never go back in time and change my mind.
If anything, my art has become more meaningful to me. Every moment that I can spend creating something which reflects me, my personality and my dreams, I feel is a HUGE privilege. I feel that whatever I create now was completely predestined and meant to be. I have evolved so much and don't take one moment for granted. I am so privileged to be able to do and be all that I can.
The latest of my art (as most of my art projects) has taken a while. I sometimes have to put an art project on hold for days and maybe even weeks depending on my evolvement with the kids stuff, my small part-time job, holidays and other family events. So…When I do complete my projects, I get SUPER EXCITED.
My latest is ALMOST DONE! and I can't wait to see it when it is actually all done…
I'm thinking about calling it "Wonder Kitty"…Inspired by my life-driven goal to make my best friend love cats (she says that they are all evil aliens! LOL!!!)
So, in my pursuit I have decided to create the most obnoxious and AWESOME kitty picture. I've included my pictures from when I first starting sketching the kitty's head...

 and when I started coloring the kitty's head...

 …Viola! The kitties head is complete!!! Then I used my X-acto and cut the kitty's head...

 and my next plan of action is to put the head onto my galaxy background that I painted. This part was SUPER FUN!!! I got a few ideas from pinterest, but my favorite was a video that I found on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHM6GStV880&feature=share
You've gotta check it out!!!

So…this is not a permanently attached yet…but defiantly what will be happening. I envision some type of rainbow stripes too…

I'm also trying to work on some fun skulls for Dia De Los Muertos…

My lesson in life (from what I can gather) is to never stop doing what you love. There may be interruptions in life that may distract you for a little (or a long) time, but never give it up… You'll regret it if you do, but you'll never regret it if you keep it up.

Sunday is a welcomed Day Of Rest

Having time to regroup, recharge and just think are things that are taken for granted on a daily basis by the masses of people. I for one am guilty of such things. I try to do too much in such a small time frame. I think nothing of what pressures I put on myself and what they do to me physically, mentally and emotionally until the damage is done. This is my life lesson. 

I am learning, and I will probably be learning this for a long time, to LOVE my LIFE and to LOVE the LOVE that surrounds me. 

I need this reminder consistently and constantly.

I need to breathe.

I need to relax.

I need to soak up the little pleasures and beauties that are all around me.

My beautiful babies…my wonderful husband…my daily abundances! 

I need to have not only daily gratitude, but gratitude that soaks up every moment.

I should show gratitude for my health, my physical abilities, my mental clarity, my constant inspirations!

I am thankful for everything. Yes, even the parts of my life that seem to suck. Cause guess what?! They are mine. They are MY sucky parts…and they have a purpose too. I learn from the sucky things and they mold me into the person I am predestined to become. For that I am thankful. For that I see that I am such an individual and there is no one that is quite like me.

I am unique.

I am beautiful.

I am me.

I am resting on this beautiful Sunday, and I am able to reflect on things that I usually don't have time for.

May your Sunday, and all your days, be full of Joy, Peace and Gratitude!

Many Blessings!

~Sea Shelly

School, work, eat, sleep- repeat

The last few weeks, let alone this last week have been super duper-uper crazy!!!
The commute of taking my 7 year old to school, coming home to take care of my 4 year old and the house chores, commuting again to pick up the 7 year old, helping with homework and the rest of the day schedule are the easy-peasy parts of my life.
If those were the only things that I do on a daily basis..life would be a cinch!
 But, I am a glutton for stress and chaos…I swear I am, otherwise I wouldn't be in such a frazzle-daze all the time.
I am highly driven by what my mind wants to do in all aspects of my life.
I want to be a very involved mother, wife and person in general.
I want to accomplish so many things including my art, my writing and my long list of loved hobbies.
I love to read  and try to find the time to do so, though that is impossible lately (though this love has taken the back-burner in the last two years because of the lack of time or the fact that the only time that I do have to read is at the end of the day and I can't keep my eyes open for a period longer than 5 minutes).
I am physically active and love to run long distances. I have started up my routine of running 8-12 miles during the week…I would love to do more, but…yeah, the whole time thing, and energy thing…I really have to prioritize things differently.

But this week, man oh man…this week has been a bit more than usual.
We started the week with low energy due to the fact that the weekend was non-stop events: Ladies night out…pool parties…and my wonderful mother-in-law came to stay for a while.
So…Yep…low energy.
To make things more exhausting, I had two very sad things happen on Monday.
 First, I heard that my half-brother tried to commit suicide and was in ICU across the country.
 I am not very close to him, yet I feel very sad about this.
His family isn't very supportive and are not involved in very much to help him.
 My heart hurts for him and though I can't do much for him financially, I feel that what I can do is call him frequently and let him know that I love him and care about him and have prayer warriors praying for him. It's amazing how much he seemed appreciative.

Secondly, my best friend (whom I love very much) had a bicycle accident on her way to school. Though she escaped with only bumps and bruises, she allowed the situation and other happenings in her life to bring her down. She was ready to quit school and give up on things that she's been per suing and striving for for a while.
This was hard for me…I did tell her that she should not at any point quit. I gave her my totally opinion about what I thought was going on (the fact that she was hormonal and that her boyfriend was on a camping trip for a week and wasn't able to help her and the fact that she can't make rent and is having to move again) in her life were "crappy" they were not an excuse to quit school…if she did that she would be monstrously depressed about it later.
All of this was happening while my MIL was here. She is very helpful and steps in to help with the kids and dishes and stuff, but she also has a lot going on in her mind and her emotions. I am her counselor and confidant to a degree. The constant listening and advising and talking through things (especially all these things at one time!) has taken a toll on me.
So, now I find myself (also very hormonal) emotionally and mentally drained. Because of this more than half of my motivation is gone.
I usually find little pieces of my day to squeeze in little times for me…the past two days have been "nope…not doing anything!".
I hate it when I am like this. It's almost as if everyone around me has sucked all the good energy out of me.
 I know that I am energetically sensitive (or maybe empathic), but this is ridiculous. I almost feel that others come to me to do such things on purpose; They know that they will go away feeling better because of the positive energy that I will help them achieve, yet they know not the energy that I have to recollect to be the person that I want to be on a daily basis. It makes me want to be a recluse to an extent…

But, I will not be a recluse…at least not for long. Today I find myself staying home and doing home stuff (the fact that I am writing this is a good sign that I am trying to rejuvenate) and relaxing to gain my energy back.
So, those who know me…do not think that I don't want to be around you or that I don't want to talk to you…it's that I really just can't. If I want to be the person that I want to be and the person that people are used to me being…then I have to hide away. I have to be nonexistent for a while. In other words…"it's not you, it's me".

Here's some of the latest pictures from the last week…

Here's my best friend and I…we are yin and yang!

 Here's my semicolon that I want to get tattooed…It means a lot to me.

It's about depression and suicide awareness. My brother means so much more than he knows...

 Finding the beauty in nature on a daily basis is something that helps me daily. I find things and give thanks to God for his awesomeness! Here is an awesome Green Lynx Spider! It caught a King Bee in my lavender plant that I have in my yard.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_lynx_spider

 AND…my latest drawing…I probably would have had this more completed by now if I had had more energy and time. Working on it slowly…I'm thinking about making it rainbow pastel colors...

Here's my sweet 4 year old's hair that I did on Sunday. Though I look at it and see the flaws, it's actually not bad for my second attempt! :)

Working on New Art...

I know…I know…you can hardly see it…but it is in the making. I am working on a cat face with cool designs on it. I am still debating on if I should use pastels, colored pencils or a combo of the two…

I love using a lot of color and am hoping to incorporate some pretty vibrant and glow-y colors on this one.

I am also working on another addition to my "Baby Carrying" collection. This one is especially exciting to me. I'm not planning on making this a specific cultural theme, as I have with the others, but I thought that it would be important to make a man version. Nowadays we find more and more men and males taking on the responsibility of caring for children and babies. I think that it is awesome and would love to promote it more with this drawing! :)

New things on the horizon!

I am always trying to accomplish new art and artistic crafts that bring me joy and happiness.

Drawing, writing, knitting, crochet are some of my favorite past times. Having kids and trying to get these pleasurable things done are not impossible, but they don't always get done in a timely manner or sometimes exactly the way that you want them to.

But, when you go into parenting you have to expect this to a degree.

Some people are fine with giving up some things… I for one, have reluctantly giving up reading novels…at least for now. I have been reading a very short book (that I would have normally finished in 1-1 1/2 days) and I am not even half way through it. But, that's okay! I expect that!

I mean…I could stay up really late, with the hopes that I am actually retaining what I am reading, OR I can read a little (and I mean A LITTLE) at a time and catch up on some much needed sleep.

Sleep usually wins.

All my other projects bring me a lot more zen and harmony, so I usually dedicate my time to such things.

They, too, take a lot of time to accomplish, but I am a "go-getter" and try to get them done on my own time (which is usually bed-time) or when I really need a break and put a movie in for the kids.

Summer was short, as school is school round for us, but I was able to get more done than expected! YAY!

 Here is my Japanese version of my series of "Baby Carrying"(I have done an African and East Indian version as well).

 This Butterfly picture isn't quite finished yet, but I thought I'd throw it in...

And here is a cute sweater that I made for my nephew that my daughter was all too excited to model for me…So funny! Don't mind the bottom of it…it was accidentally folded under when I took the photo.

I can't wait to give it to my nephew for his birthday in September…he's a huge bear lover.

So…time is not what it used to be…but persistence seems to be a huge help in accomplishing my dreams. You see… it's not all about what I want anymore, its mostly about helping my children grow to be amazing humans;teaching them that they are unique, special and worth my time and devotion all while still per suing what I love to do.

Plus, the older they get the easier it is to integrate them into the stuff that I love too. I feel excited that both my children love reading, art, drawing and crafting. That's a huge win-win for me! :)