Hope for the Road to Health

Yep…I am still "sick". My Ulcerative Colitis has become quite the issue in my moment-to-moment life.  The hope that the first appointment with a GI specialist went down the tubes when he was first, very impersonal, second, scared me with all the horrible drugs he said were my only choices, and thirdly, he prescribed me medication that I am allergic to and the ultimately make me bleed in my intestines.
So…I fired him and found another doctor. This new guy, so far, has been a 180 degree change. Yes, I still have to be on medications, but the difference in his work ethic and ability to care for my needs has made all the difference.
My hope and wish for all doctors is to take note:

• We are all people-not just sick patients.
• We are scared and are looking to you for help in hopes that you can help us feel better, not use us as a tool to poke and prod.
• We need to know that you care and are not just an appt. to fit in your schedule.
• A lot of us with auto-immune diseases are not understood or cared about in the surrounding world and situations that we are in day-to-day, please be that exception. Please show us that what we are feeling is realer that real. Please show us the compassion that we need.
• Don't dismiss our pain. Our pain is real. It hurts A LOT! 

My new GI was so nice! I instantly saw that he was compassionate to me and my needs. He didn't just throw medications at me. He examined me and asked me a lot of questions about my history (all in which the first had not asked or done), he explained options that he would like to take, but also took into consideration my needs and wants. Because of this he put me on Uceris instead of prednisone. He also explained that he, himself, wanted to do a colonoscopy to see where my inflammation is and he needed to rule out Crones (which is something that in my 12 years of symptoms no one ever has done).
So, I have started my new medication regimen. It has only been 2 days of the Uceris, but I am hopeful that I am going to get better soon. I am looking forward to working with this new GI. I feel he cares and is looking in my best interest.
Now…just to let you all know, in the last few weeks, I have been so sick that I have very low energy or interest in doing anything that I usually enjoy. I have done a lot of research and I have joined support groups. I have come to new terms with the severity of my disease. I am no longer in denial with what I have, and I realize that I may actually have to take medicine for the rest of my life. BUT…I am okay with that! If I can have a normal life without this horrible pain and suffering that this medication can give me, I am all for it! I am tired of being sick and tired. I miss being energetic and spunky. I miss being fun for my kids and creative in my writing and art. I miss being helpful for my husband. I miss running and getting exercise. If medication can help me be "MY NORMAL", I am ready for it.
I have tried the "all natural" route. I am not against natural remedies, but for me they are more of a supplement that anything. I will still be looking to nature for my health, but for this, I need something more.
I'm hopeful that soon I will stop living in the bathroom, that I will stop the painful cramps and spasms, that I will stop bleeding, that I will soon have the energy to actually live life.
I must keep hope and look to positive thoughts. If not, I make my healing ability harder.
Advice:

• Surround yourself with things that make you happy. Watch comedies, read funny stories, surround yourself with compassionate people that make you laugh. I have been a comic junkie. I just love funny posts and pictures…especially the ones that I can relate to with my UC. (I will post some of my favorite ones below that I have found).
• Rest. Take a nap if you can. This one is hard for me with kids and a messy house. But I realized that the kids are happy when I'm happy and the house and the mess are not going to go anywhere. There will always be tomorrow. Yesterday I took a nap and it was great! I put a movie on for the kids and took a 15 minute nap.
• Do all things in the mindset of relaxing. Play relaxing music. Find a hobby that makes you feel good and relax (I have been knitting-super relaxing).
• Finally, pray and meditate. I, myself, believe in God and his wonderful healing power. I believe that he gives us the wisdom we need to take the steps to heal. I believe in the power of prayer. 

I will continue on this journey of healing and let the world know. I am hopeful that I will not always be posting of my pains and sufferings with this "invisible" disease. I am hopeful that this road to recovery has found me.

Update on my UC

So…today has been full of tears and frustration…and it's not even noon…

Needless to say, there is only so much relieve that I have been able to provide for my Ulcerative colitis.
There has been SOME relief, but it doesn't seem to help for long. The pain and exhaustion has been at the worse that I have experienced before. I just can not handle it much longer.
So, I made an appointment to see a GI specialist. I hope that he can handle my obsessive need to be in control! But, I need something more that juice…
I can't wait to be the old me…the energetic mom that can't wait to do something fun and creative, the wife that loves to cook in the kitchen with her husband and looks forward to eating his delicious meals.
I have to wait to be seen, but at least it will be in three days.
I'm hoping to have my next post to be uplifting and full of happiness!

From my heart to yours...

Day #1 : Healing With Juicing

So, I have finally received the funds that I need to venture on my own to try to accomplish healing with nature and the God-given materials that the land around us provides. I believe that there is a purpose for everything and a use for everything. I take this notion literally.
I am a person who suffers from Ulcerative Colitis. Because of this disease that I have been diagnose with for about fourteen years, I have had many flare-ups, been on numerous drugs and steroids (including immune suppressors), have had undetected allergic reactions to drugs, and times when my quality of life was low…very low.
I have decided that, although there are some really wonderful doctors out there and they really do know a lot about the disease, there is only so much that they can do. Especially when they have many other patients…how on earth can they concentrate on what is the perfect solution for just one particular individual? (Not to mention the pharmaceutical corporations that pay doctors to use their products on us.)
So…I have started juicing.
NOW!… I am going to clear something up really quickly. A lot of times when I talk to other people about juicing, there is a bit of confusion about what juicing really is.

1. Juicing:

Juicing is the process of extracting juice from plant tissues such as fruit or vegetables.

Many times I get people who think that juicing has something to do with using their blender, bullet or Vitamix. But in fact, that is not juicing at all. Using a blender, bullet or Vitamix blends your fruits and vegetables and incorporates the pulp in what you'll be consuming. 

Juicing, on the other hand, takes the juice out of your fruits and vegetables while separating the pulp. 
This concept is very important for those with active intestinal problems because the chance of the fiber from the pulp causing irritation in your intestines is pretty high. 

So, in removing the fibrous pulp and just consuming the juice, the body will be able to absorb the vitamins and nutrients that has previously been past through the pulp of the vegetables and fruit consumed. This is not only important to maintain a healthy balance in ones body, but also to help your body to fight and defend itself from bugs and give it the tools it needs for repair.

For me, today will be day 11 of my flare. I have been bleeding intestinally, having many (10-20) uncomfortable BM's and having A LOT of pain and cramping. I'm really tired and have lost a lot of my appetite due to the pain and discomfort. Even the thought of going to the bathroom is stressful, causing me to rethink my food consumption. So, I'm basically going to be using my body for this experiment in seeing if juicing will help my symptoms and maybe my flare all together.

My diet today:

• 7am-Juice: 6-carrots, 4-handfuls of spinach, 1-small beet, 3 celery stalks, 1/2-english cucumber,  1 lemon.
• 9:30am-10 carrots juiced
• 11:00am-small amount of lunch leftovers
• 12:15pm- 10-carrots, 4-handfuls of spinach, 5-celery stalks, 1/2- english cucumber, 1 lemon,     2-green apples, and a bit of ginger (the size of the  tip of your little finger)

I'm excited to see how this all works and if it helps…less than half a day is not enough time to see if there's any healing going on, but there's always tomorrow! I'll let ya'all know! 

Updates…I know…So, Boring!

Okay…So, first off, my sweet beautiful little boy is doing better! He definitely had hives, but to my surprise the doctor thinks that the hives were because of an allergic reaction to the amoxicillin that he had when we were trying to get rid of his pneumonia.
 It Actually makes sense…Looking back, I was allergic to amoxicillin when I was a kid, as well. I feel a little funny that I didn't think of this before…but to my defense, he has had amoxicillin before when he was five (that's when he had a bout of pneumonia the first time) and had no reaction.

(just a small example of the hives that developed all over him….even his poor little face)

They haven't ruled out the tree nuts just yet…we have to go to an allergist specialist to do testing JUST IN CASE. As for right now, we are helping him with over the counter Anti-histimine and Anti-itch lotion. Thank God, he's feeling better!
It was torturous for me, as a mom, watching my baby suffer…it was pretty bad. Now, we wait for him to heal and get better (the hives can continue to re-occur for weeks-to-months).

Now…update on my colitis….I'm still suffering.
Yeah…its been really, really sucky.
I am in partial denial on how bad it's been…I've been bleeding for almost two weeks. There has been some help with natural remedies, but I need more.
 I have had to wait to buy juicing vegetables because of our tight budget wouldn't allow…but our tax refund has finally come and I can afford the beautiful variety of vegetables that have the power of healing in them. Yay!
So, now that I can juice, I might actually get some relief…I will let you know about that soon too…

Poor Baby! Good thing I have IAHS!!!

So, as a Mother the idea of a full nights rest is really a notion of the past ( pre-children). There are the rare times that my children actually do, sleep through the night, and I actually do get some wonderful sleep. But, wonderful "mother sleep" is nothing compared to the AMAZING pre-children sleep that one used to get. With "mother sleep" there is an automatic physical phenomenon…it's called "Involuntary Auditory Half-Sleep"(IAHS). This is when a parent gets the rest that is only needed as the body has the ability to awaken at any moment due to any noise that their offspring is making….and I mean ANY Noise!

It's true!
Unless a parent medicates enough to disable this phenomenon, there is usually no stopping IAHS.
Of course, there is an exception to such a thing…It's when there are two parents, and only one of these two is the one who usually gets up during the night while the other continues to sleep. This pattern usually starts at birth and the parent that usually bypasses IAHS is the male species, as the female is usually the one that needs to feed the infants.
It's because of this phenomenon that I imagine that there will only be truly sleep when I am going through another phase called "Empty Nest Syndrome".
But, as a mother of two young children, I believe that this ability and phenomenon is a good thing. I can hear them every time they need me. Last night was no exception.
I was up half the night due to my son breaking out in hives. My poor little boy started having itchy feet at around midnight. Then slowly but surely he started breaking out on his torso, buttocks, and limbs. He even has a hive on his face.
This was the first time that my little boy of almost 7years has ever had an allergic reaction. What I think it might be?…Walnuts.
An allergy to walnuts is a little bit nerve racking to me, as there has never been any type of allergy to nuts on either side of my husbands or my family, and nuts are a huge part of all of our diets. My son has had a love for peanuts since he was little and has never had a problem.
With walnuts, he never really had the desire to eat any, so I never pushed it on him. I think that the only reason that he decided to eat them last night was because of a colorful conversation that we had at dinner time about cave-men and what they used to eat. That conversation intrigued him and after dinner he asked for walnuts…and pine nuts (the reason that I don't think it's pine nuts is because he has had an abundant amount of pine nuts in the past with no symptoms…but I won't rule it out completely).
So, last night I tried to help the itching with the only thing that I had on hand- cortisone cream. It did help, and this morning the hives that first started to appear are starting to disappear… but he still itches and we need to see the doctor…who knows, we might actually need to have an allergy test done…
Well, now we have had another application of cortisone cream and are waiting for the doctor's office to open… the rest is "To Be Determined".
And this is what I will be like from now on….

Keeping up and with a good attitude

Today is a little worse (gut wise). I've been running to the bathroom so many times that I actually lost count. So…though I am in denial most of the time…I am definitely having a full-on flare with my Ulcerative Colitis. The frequency and the blood are all I need to admit that something is not right.
So…There are many roots that I can go to try to heal myself. But, finding the right choice for me is the difficult decision. Mainly there's the Western Medicine root and there's the Natural root. Either way it's not easy. Either way there is suffering involved. But…with the Natural root, at least I feel somewhat in control of what decisions happen with my body. I love to see the amazing power that nature has to offer. Doctors are very intelligent, but with all that intelligence there seems to be a lack of common sense. First, they seem to ignore the fact that everyone and their bodies react differently and that there are many different things that can cause the same illness in different people…and with that, there are many different ways to healing people with the same illness. The problem with that is that doctors nowadays do not have the ability or time to take each patient and see what their individual needs might be. That is why I am deciding to take on my flare-up in my own hands.

• I have already stopped any form of alcohol consumption, I am not eating any fried or processed foods.
• Now I need to get my tax refund so that I can buy some beautiful organic vegetables to juice. I have had flares before that I have juiced to heal. Vegetables are amazing tools to heal our bodies. 
• With a flare I need to stop eating any nuts, and highly fibrous foods…THIS IS WHAT IS HARD FOR ME! I love nuts, dried fruit, and vegetables galore!!! I could eat all of these things all the time…They're my favorite foods. But…once my flare is corrected and calmed I can slowly reintroduce my favorite foods.

There IS relief at the end of this pit of flames…keeping positive is a huge part of healing too. Being thankful for everything and giving God gratitude even in the struggle helps me mentally and emotionally. This is very important, as the attitude of gratitude has a major effect on my brain…and the brain is the most powerful tool that anyone has. The brain has the ability to harness healing powers as well.
Breathing helps too. Taking the time, for as little as it might seem (especially with kids), is very important. It calms the body, mind and soul. It helps you meditate and pray. It allows oxygen to enter your body and boost healing.

I'm still not 100%, but will plug along and take each moment as it comes. I will update you soon...

Ulcerative Colitis SUCKS!

Yep…I said it. 

It's funny, cause I totally understand why sick people become depressed when they are feeling sick. I don't feel depressed right now, but I can see how others would become so…especially those who are terminal and have worsening symptoms.
One major reason is because of the feeling of isolation and being alone. When you're sick, you can't be as active as a healthy person, or as social for that matter…it causes one to feel alone.
Also, Others really CAN'T understand another persons pain unless they have...

1. The ability to be super sensitive to other people and their needs. This is very possible…just rare nowadays with the rise of narcissism.
2. Been sick themselves and know the pain and isolation.

The feeling of Isolation is real!

So, as you may tell…I am having a flare-up. One of those damning things that takes away from the quality of life that I desperately hold dear and try hard not to take for granted.
I am a mom…and a stay-at-home one for the most par.
Most think that that fact alone would make my life easier: I could rest all day with my feet up, eating bonbons and watch soap operas…WRONG!!!

This is the life I live with a flare-up…

• I get up as early as I can to "enjoy" a cup of coffee and read my bible before my children wake up. 

With a flare-up, coffee is not good for you, as it causes you to go to the bathroom even more. That is one thing that you kinda want to avoid, as the more you "go" the more you cramp and bleed. BUT…if I don't have my morning cup of coffee…I am asking for a migraine-One of the wonderful things that has been pasted down in my genetic gene pool from my mother. So…any of you who have had a migraine…a true migraine…know that stomach cramps over a migraine is much easier to cope with.

• I then have to run around trying to get the kids ready for the day/school. Making breakfast, making lunches, making sure they're dressed appropriately for the cold/hot weather, and doing all of this while having multiple runs to the bathroom.

A Clue To The Panic Of Bathroom Breaks…

Do you remember the scene in the movie "Dumb and Dumber" when Harry, who unknowingly ingested the large amount of laxatives that Lloyd gave him, had an acute attack and had to RUN to the bathroom. Well, that's pretty close to what it's like…without the humor, but always at a bad time.

If only it was THIS funny!

• On the way to dropping of the kids at school, I know all the available bathroom stops, and pray that there is no need for a stop…especially the places that there is no available bathroom.
• At home, the need for food is much higher than the want for food. You're hungry because your body needs the nutrition, but you know that the more you eat, the more you'll have to go, and that idea alone is enough for someone to loose their appetite.
• Trying to get housework done is not too hard, except for the unexpected run to the bathroom half way through a task.
• Then there are errands…you only do what you HAVE TO, and leave the rest for your spouse or another time all together - hopefully leaving it for a time when you're feeling better, or more adventurous. 

Then there is the talk of healing…how does one with my condition heal from this? This is a totally loaded question…one for another post. I just want those who are reading this to understand that the pain and the turmoil is real…

 and that those who are going through this as well…You're NOT alone! 

There are tons of others going through this right now at this exact moment. 

It's not fun and is a bowl full of emotional and physical feelings. 

Find time to vent…blog, journal, call a trusted family member or friend, talk to a counselor.

You should be able to ease your stress in many different HEALTHY ways. 

I will touch on the healing topic a little later…My idea of healing the gut might be a little different...