Healing is a long road, but a road full of lessons and beauty...

Since I have been sick since the beginning of February, I have gone through a lot of different feelings, emotions and opinions regarding my sickness and why I am going through what I am going through. I have been in the lowest point physically and emotionally, but also I have been lifted up with encouragement from loved ones. This path…this road has been one that has been very difficult, but very necessary. I believe whole hearted that God has a purpose for those who suffer and experience such suffering.
I have Ulcerative Colitis. I was diagnosed when I was 20 years old…over 13 years ago. I have had flares before (flares include bleeding, cramping, diarrhea and fatigue to name a few). This flare that I have been experiencing is by far the worse I have ever experienced.
After becoming so sick I have learned a lot about myself, about my desires and what proves to be important in my life, and more about my faith and what I believe and know in my heart to be true.

Now…at this moment I am still sick. I am still bleeding a lot everyday, having urgent bathroom trips and pain. I am still very tired and get worn out very quickly, but I know that I am getting better.
I had a colonoscopy a week ago that proved that I am having a moderate to severe flare. This did nothing but confirm to my doctor and I that what I was going through was true. He changed my medication (as the first one that he put me on hardly worked), and now he is going to put me through a conservative route of medication…This I am super happy about. Less evasive is always best if it can be achieved…PLUS, I am scared of going straight to Biologics. I'm scared that the cost will be too much and the idea of having to have either injectables or IV meds for the rest of my life is unnerving. But, if the less evasive route does not work, I am willing to go that route to not have to go through what I have already. I want to live at least a semi-normal, healthy life.

I have found sympathy for those who suffer everyday from illness…as these past few months have not been very long, yet feel as if they have been forever.
I have joined a few support groups on Facebook (which I HIGHLY recommend to those who have what I have!). It has helped me realize that I am not alone and that those who suffer with me need to vent (as I do), need comrades in this fight (as I do). It has helped me be grateful that I am not as bad as others, and helps me reach out to others who need encouragement too.

Here I am waiting for my colonoscopy! I had lost 13 pounds in a month and was super sick, tired and fatigued….BUT I still have a smile on my face!!!! My sister came from out of town to take me to my appt. and to take care of me. I am so grateful for her. She has been such a Godsend! I love her so much!

Today, I have had quite a few bathroom runs…but not as many. I have pain…but not as much. I am bleeding…but I am slowing down in that area too. I am trying hard to stay positive and I am giving my body, my mind and my spirit a chance to heal and to find joy in this short life.

May this post bring you all encouragement and hope. My you be filled with blessings and love.

Rochelle